My Best Face


Alright… I have no problems telling people that I’m on OKCupid.  I obviously don’t take it (or much else) very seriously.  It’s simply a chance to meet new people and have fun.  I finally uploaded a third photo yesterday and noticed that OKCupid has a feature call My Best Face.  They have your photos judged by other members and then tell you which was is determined to be your most attractive picture.  What I did not realize is that they show you who voted for you and who they chose you over or vice versa.  Luckily I am equipped with a titanium-plated ego….

First of all, I beat the following:

I’m sure this was a close call but I beat out what looks like a vintage comic book cover.

Comic - Lost

Here’s one I personally don’t understand.  I would have voted on Dr. Pimpenstein over me any day of the week.

Pimp - Lost Continue reading

Advertisements

The Feet Don’t Lie


NOTE:  To keep this simple, I am going to assume heterosexual roles for each of my hypothetical people in these situations.

One of my earliest posts was called Body Language in Human Mating Rituals.  While the observations in it were correct, I have to admit I kind of bombed that one.  It was quickly written without adequate time nor thought given to it.  Body language can be very complex.  Sometimes it is as if every part of someone’s body is singing to you and you’re trying to merge each voice into a chorus that tells you a truth beyond words.

The first thing that I teach anyone about reading body language is to look at the feet.  Not only are they one of the easiest, most unambiguous things to read on a person, they tend to tell the truth on a body that may be lying.  Sometimes consciously but I would guess most times not, people try to stifle their body language.  They tend to do this from the head down.  Keeping a poker face would be the first thing you think about.  Keeping your upper body stiff or unnaturally held would be next.  Your legs and feet, however, seem to be oblivious to your mendacity and just hang out down there doing their own thing. Continue reading

Another Message You Should Not Send On OKCupid


NSFW

Setup:  I met someone that I really liked.  She was very attractive and funny.  Because I once made sex toys for a living, we’d already had a good bit of sexual discussion before we’d even met.  I felt like I connected with her and her personality was just awesome, but she told me she was already involved with someone sexually.  Her description of him was one of a big, muscular, lumberjack with a beard.

Something you should know about me.  I generally don’t give a shit  Don’t get me wrong.  I might be one of the most kind and giving people you could ever hope to meet.  While I have a basic human need to want to be loved and accepted, I don’t modify my behavior to try to get people to like me.  Either they’ll like me for who I am or not.  I’m not going to be any different.  I am not deterred from competition.  Also, I have testicles the size of Texas, balls the size of Boston, cohones the size of Chicago…. Continue reading

The Message to NOT Send On OKCupid


I just typed this long, well-thought out reply to you. The birds stopped chirping and the winds stopped blowing as God silenced all just for a chance the hear my fingers glide across the keys. It was as if they’d always typed that message to you and like the steps to a dance done daily it flowed beyond thought or intention and burst forth from me like pure emotion onto the screen. My feelings gestating in my soul were sequentially born upon the page and lined up like onyx armies ready to storm your heart. Continue reading