I Probably Should Not Admit This


I worked as a glassblower making dildos and butt plugs for a living.  No, this is not what I have been keeping secret.  Actually, I’m quite proud of this and try to find ways to work it into my conversations.  “How about this Presidential campaign, huh?  Boy, it’s really heating up!  You know….. that reminds me of when I used to heat up Pyrex to about 3,000 degrees and fashion it lovingly into butt plugs…..”.    Though it was completely unnecessary, I had a business card made that read:

Greg [redacted]
Blower of Dicks and Seller of Schlongs
Free Installation With Purchase!

I may even get my headstone to read something like:

Here lies Greg [redacted]
Butt Plug Artisan
Born XX/XX/197X  -  Died XX/XX/20XX
Though He Has Gone Home To Jesus
His Work Will Live On In & Out Of Us

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