Body Language in Human Mating Rituals

1. Man looks at woman and smiles, eyebrows raise slightly
2. Woman looks at man and either looks down or turns away for 3-5 seconds and then looks back
3. Man approaches woman
4. At some point, the woman will touch the man either on the arm or leg
5. The man touches back mirroring her length of touch. Touching too quickly, too slowly or with an inappropriate length may ‘ruin’ the ritual.

There are many other body signs that may be included but they’ve filmed people all over the world including tribes with little societal contact and this is the base mating scenario as it pertains to body langugage. Other signs could be the man standing more upright, ‘opening’ his body to the woman and hooking his thumbs into his pockets. The last one is the strongest male ‘lure’ (do it to see why). The female could do literally thousands of things, kicking her shoe towards the male, primping, licking her lips, etc.

Both tend to mirror and even synchronize movements, but this is a component of a lot of human interactions and it is even possible to hypnotize someone doing this. The pointing of the feet, as in all body language scenarios is the biggest giveaway, denoting attraction, dislike, need to leave, etc. Attracted couples point a foot at each other and once encountering each other’s ‘bubble of space’ tend to point both feet at each other. Normally when a third person comes to talk, they would shift their feet to accommodate the person, creating a triangle with their feet. As more people are accepted into the group, the feet widen to let them in. Attacted couples often don’t do this. In a group of 3 or more, the female will forgo the linking of feet and will point one foot at the man she finds most attractive.

Woman have thousands of sexual lures for every one a man has. Men are absolutely horrible at reading physical cues but woman are innate experts at reading both the body language of males and other females.

The more you know…..


2 comments on “Body Language in Human Mating Rituals

  1. […] of my earliest posts was called Body Language in Human Mating Rituals.  While the observations in it were correct, I have to admit I kind of bombed that one.  It was […]

  2. treegestalt says:


    Everything reminds me of something else: In this case, what Gabor Mate says about mother/infant interactions, among things he says “Aren’t even controversial anymore.” Everybody likes to play googoo with babies; but it turns out the babies need it, and need to have it done right. When the primary parent is stressed, he/she’ll miss too many cues– so the baby freaks; relations get strained — If this goes on too long and often, a lot of necessary neurophysiological stuff doesn’t happen when it’s supposed to; there are glitches in development that derail people in later interactions.

    So here we are in a society that does everything it can to keep everyone stressed, while we wonder why more people are growing up with ADD etc.


    Next time I’m looking to practice a mating ritual I’ll try to remember! (But for these last 20 years, I’m taken. I wonder if we got this part right?)

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